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I live in a compound of 5 tenants minus the landlord and his family. My landlady is an Ikwerre woman, a voluptious average bodied woman with a nice set of racks. She has 1 boy and 3 girls. All are grown. This woman seem to be the heart of our problem in the compound. Her husband is a cool man who overlooks simple things but this woman will fight for everything to make sure everyone understands that it is her compound. Everything…..water, parking space, light bill, etc. I never really found myself in such a situation with her cos I always tried to keep to myself. And she’s got pretty daughters that benefitted generously of her body type but I do not talk to them other than the regular greetings. Though I know that they like greeting me afterall i’m a young guy living in their compound but I seem not to want to be chatty with them. I like two of the daughters especially the eldest who’s a couple of years older than I am, then the last daughter as well. I know they like me too cos I’ve seen their glances and the way they linger around when they greet me or come to my house for something, hoping we might strike a conversation. One day, I parked my car in the landlady’s parking spot and travelled cos it came up suddenly. I was away for 5 days before I went back home. I just got back that afternoon and met an empty and quiet compound. I put on the tv, took off my clothes and was about to hit the shower when a knock on the door redirected my route. I opened it and saw the least person I expected to see……(you guessed right), my landlady. She wore a blue blouse and a wrapper around her waist. Surprised, I greeted her and she greeted me back and asked simply “why did you park your car in my space when you knew you were travelling?” I told her that I was sorry and that the journey came up abruptly, and that I was in such a rush to even think. I could see that she was furious and I added more soothingly that I’ld move it right away. She seemed satisfied with my apology and smiled, then asked me how my trip was and she hope I brought something back. I told her that the trip was fine and that I did (even though I didn’t have anyone in mind when I bought the fruits and other stuff i came back with).
I invited her in and headed straight to the kitchen while she waited in the sitting room. I had just come back with some of the items in my hand when she smiled and said “you boys and bad bad films. See the kain film you dey watch”. I turned and stared at the tv, they were showing an erotic scene explicitly. I smiled and apologized, then walked towards the tv to turn it off when she said “are you a kid? you can watch anything you want”. I obliged her and replied “yes. but I no wan make konji hold me later”. She laughed and asked me how it could be when I have a lot of girlfriends. Then went on “e be like say you sabi, i dey hear them dey shout sometimes”. I couldn’t believe what is happening. I couldn’t believe that I am having this conversation with this woman. She’s hitting on me. WATCHOUT FOR PART 2 TOMORROW